My Spare Time

So I’m sure you’re just dying to know what it is I do with my spare time outside of work in the brief window when I’m not drunk, in the midst of a Mefloquine hallucination or watching crappy TV series.

Well I’ll tell you – writing crappy computer software. Go me. How cool? Oh, not very you say. Fair enough.

So what? Maybe I will die alone but that’s what I always wanted. Honest. Go away now.

Recent waste-of-typing projects include:

REX: Remote Execution Framework for PHP

Have PHP code you want to store and/or execute remotely? Ignorant of the security risks or just desperate to co-ordinate your DoS assaults on multiple hosts without much actual work?

Then REX may be for you.

A web server acts as a code store serving up REX files (basically PHP code with a few odds-and-ends). Your client then pulls down this code from the central store and executes it. Either manually or automatically.

To complete the cycle of remoteness you can also run a webserver on your client through which you can get it to download code from somewhere else, run it on itself and send you the output thanks to the wonders of the interwebz.

iArray: Associative Arrays for JavaScript

Tired of using old-skool index-based arrays in your funkilicious Web 2.442190001 applications?

Look no further than iArray. Providing much the same kind of interface as a normal JS array you can assign keys to your data elements and then reference them by key or by index.

Witchcraft? Yes, probably.

DOAP: Some Sort of RPC-style Wrapper for PHP/JavaScript

Tired of writing your own XMLHTTP/AJAX magic with the whole JavaScript and server-side components? Too lazy to even use one of the many frameworks which does most of it for you?

DOAP (Dave’s Own Access Protocol) is probably not the answer but you never know.

On the server: write a PHP function, include the DOAP Server library, Register that function and set the script to call the DOAP handler.

On the client: include the DOAP JS client, instantiate the object, call the function and… get the result straight back as a JavaScript primitive or array.

Voila et fini.

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