Archive for July, 2011

Great, so NOW I fall in love

July 11, 2011

Is it Murphy’s law that 29 months into a 30 month placement I fall in love?

Oh well, I suppose I’ll just have to make the most of the few short weeks I will have with her before I head back to the world.

I apologise for the gushy nature of all this but I’m head-over-sheels and want to shout it to the entire world.

I’m not going to lie; there are a few haters out there and people who have no qualms in telling me they think our relationship is wrong. But seriously they can all get stuffed – I’ve never been happier and spend my time now grinning and wanting to break into song.

So a few details. My new beau’s name is Susan and she is sexy, smart, funny and generally wonderful.

She’s an HP 1810G-24 Ethernet Switch with 24 multiple-personality 10/100/1000 ports and two of the HP GBIC expansion ports.

Quite simply with a web interface, SNMP, auto-everything and a flashing blue locate LED you can turn on and off she is wonderful.

I really fell in love though the first time I turned her on. The startup sequence of LEDs lighting up, flashing and turning off all in a row was too much to bear.

Now I’ve known some slutty switches through the years, and there is always a time and a place for slutty switches, but Susan is refined and classy – not like some Cisco Catalyst switch all telnet interfaces and logos.

I’ll have to leave her behind but parting will be such sweet sorrow…

And is it wrong for a man to love an Ethernet switch? I mean love. Spiritually, emotionally and physically. Especially physically. Oh yeah. But, really, is that a good idea for the copper contacts? And do I care?

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I is soooo Gangsta

July 1, 2011

I think it was Confucius who said: “if you lend your car MP3 player to your Dutch neighbour it will come back full of white noise, crazy electro-pop, and gangster rap”.

He was right.

Bombing round Opuwo today delivering letters (we can’t go any further because of the fuel card situation) with the windows down (yet another blue-skied perfect day).

NBC decided as it often does to stop playing music and go to some interminable speech by someone or other about key stakeholder involvement so I popped the MP3 in and bumped up the volume.

White noise. Next.

Sounds like modems making love. Next.

“**** my ******* ******* in the ***** and I’m gonna ****** you too ********” blurting out. Nice.

Not my weirdest musical experience here though. Not long in-country I tagged along with some colleagues on a tour of the other districts.

Otjiherero rap was the order of the day and I – foolishly – asked the driver what was being said.

It turned out to be a list of things the singer was planning to do with his other half when he got home and then even more explicitly the things he demanded she did to him.

Yes.

But the weird bit was the music selection was hardcore Otjiherero rap interspersed with Dolly Parton (which everyone sang along to, except me of course as I’m way too Gangsta for that).